My Favorite Movies of 2008

As a movie lover, I’ve always wanted to have a format in which to publish my “Best Movies of the Year”. Especially after reading some of the ridiculous lists that come out these days. Seriously, Stephen King included “Death Race”, “The Ruins” and “Funny Games” on his list. Another “Best Of 2008” list had “Speed Racer”, a terrible-looking movie based on a terrible cartoon that people only liked because it was the 1970s.

Note that I’m going to try not to use the term “best”. I’m instantly offended the second you presume to tell me that you know what the “best” films were. I still believe that film is an art form (despite the efforts of Dane Cook, Jerry Bruckheimer, and Jar Jar Binks) and that we can’t talk about the “best” movies, but only a particular person’s “favorite” ones. Of course, I still reserve the right to categorize some movies as the “worst” movies ever, and will steadfastly refuse to listen to any arguments to the contrary. Because I know better than you. Stupid.

That being said, here are some of my favorite movies that I saw in 2008. Note that unlike most “real” film critics, I didn’t get the chance to see some of the movies that will almost surely be up for Oscars and may otherwise have made my list, including the following: Doubt, Gran Torino, The Wrestler, or Kitt Kittredge: An American Girl (too soon!! sorry, Jenny).

The “I’m Pre-Ordering this on Blu-Ray When I Get Home” Award for Favorite Movie of the Year: (TIE) The Dark Knight and Wall-E.

Batman Begins was pretty great, but the Dark Knight was incredible. It’s actually hard to believe now, but before Nolan resurrected the Batman franchise, Joel Schumacher had turned Batman into a cheesy gay comedic romp, where bad guys skated around on ice skates and exchanged one liners like “Chill Out!!!!” Nolan somehow took the same source material and made a beautiful, challenging, complex movie that is probably the coolest crime drama since “Heat”. Ledger’s Joker is one of the greatest screen villains of all time. I loved the idea that if you’re really trying to do something heroic and make the world a better place, you’re going to have to make impossible choices, and everyone is probably going to hate you for it. It’s been amazing to see how Nolan took these comic book characters and created such a believable world.

Pixar seems to get better every year, and Wall-E is probably my favorite Pixar flick to date. Somehow this family-friendly animated movie contains a great science fiction story, a cute love story, an environmental warning about our future and a blistering satire of our consumerist culture. And for over 30 minutes, it does so with virtually no dialogue, letting the beautifully rendered images tell the story without clobbering you with inane banter (George Lucas, you should be taking notes). Wall-E is an amazing piece of art, and a movie I could watch 100 times.

The Yes, I Admit it’s Cheesy and Proposterous, but Dammit, I Don’t Care Award: Slumdog Millionaire.

I don’t really believe that anything in this movie could ever have happened. The chance encounters, people being brought together by fate (over and over), the main character being selected for the game show even though he expresses zero excitement and is completely uneducated, the climactic live dialing of the “Phone a Friend”, etc. Completely unbelievable. And yet I thoroughly enjoyed it. A sweet, nice, highly entertaining fairy tale of a movie that made me happy.

The Best “Stuff Blowed Up Real Good” Summer Blockbuster: Iron Man.

I had basically no expectations for this movie. I don’t know anything about Iron Man, other than that he has a cool-looking suit that he flies around in. By all rights, this should have been another lame Marvel superhero movie like Hulk or Oops, Never Mind that Artsy Hulk Movie from 6 Years Ago, This is the INCREDIBLE Hulk. And yet it was smart, funny, and had a great story (up until the fairly boring/anticlimactic final showdown). And stuff blowed up real good. A fun summer movie that really delivered.

This was quite a year from Robert Downey Jr., single-handedly elevating Iron Man and Tropic Thunder above their source material. And I loved that Iron Man was kicking the crap out of the terrorists. That’s what people want to see!! Not like that movie where the most powerful American superhero of all time, was fighting against…a bald dude…who had a nasty real estate scheme. Oh, and Kumar, I forgot, he was fighting Kumar too. Cool.

The “Schindler’s List” Award for Favorite Serious Drama That I Can’t Sit Through Again for a While: Milk

Sean Penn was incredible in this movie. I’d never heard of Harvey Milk before this movie, but 5 minutes into this you forget that you’re watching Sean Penn and can only see Harvey Milk on the screen. Inspiring, emotional, and guaranteed to bring a few tears to your eyes by the end. I’m pretty sure Penn wins the Oscar for this one, and I’m rooting for him.

The “Requiem For a Dream” Feel Bad Movie of the Year: Revolutionary Road

Wow, was this movie depressing. When I saw Requiem for a Dream, it was a 10:30 pm show and I went alone. To this day, that’s still the most depressing ending of any movie I’ve seen. I felt so devastated, I stopped at a Krispy Kreme drive through and ordered one chocolate donut. At 12:30 am. The lady on the other side of the speaker was like “That’s it? One donut?? …. That’ll be 86 cents.”

Revolutionary Road answers the question, “Hey, what would have happened if Kate and Leo had survived the Titanic, and then gotten married and moved to the suburbs?” Except instead of “Oh, they lived happily ever after!” the answer is “They grew to hate one another and lived miserable lives”. Leo, you should have just frozen to death in the Atlantic.

The movie is saying that nobody in a relationship can ever really be happy – you just have to learn to tolerate and tune out the other person after a while. I’m terrified that that’s true. But I don’t know that I want to see that in a movie.

Very well done movie, great performances, interesting story…but you’ll need a donut afterwards. Maybe a dozen. And if you see this with your significant other, you might want to break up afterwards.

The “Superman Returns” Award for the Movie I’m OUTRAGED Anyone Has Anything Nice to Say About: Quantum of Solace.

UGH!! I get how you can take Bond and make it stupid, say, by hiring Denise Richards to play Dr. Christmas Love, a nuclear physicist. I get how you can make it super cheesy, with groan-worthy one-liners, over-the-top supervillians, and terrible performances (see, e.g., Berry, Halle). But how can you make Bond SO BORING? I loved Casino Royale and was really excited to see this. And…I have no idea what happened. Bleh. Completely unmemorable. I was angry that I spent my time and money on this.

The Let’s Drink Some Beers and Go See Hellboy 2 Award: Hellboy 2: The Golden Army

This inaugural award is named after my buddy Matt, and it goes to the movie where you think, “Ehh, I’ll have a few drinks and then it’ll probably be a halfway decent movie,” but then it surprises you by actually being pretty good. I rented the first Hellboy once, and it was OK. Nothing special. But Hellboy 2 was actually…really good. Visually impressive, good characters, and a cool dark fairy tale story. Guillermo del Toro is really on a roll, with this following up the fantastic/terrifying Pan’s Labyrinth, and I can’t wait to see what he does with the Hobbit movies in a few years.

Incidentally, you’re going to need at least 2 dudes with cargo shorts and one woman with a purse to effectively carry out the “let’s have a few beers while watching this” strat.

The “40 Year Old Virgin Award” for Best Comedy of the Year: Tropic Thunder

I guess. I’m probably the toughest critic on movie comedies, and I never really like anything. Pineapple Express was pretty good, but I thought the last 30 minutes were just…out of left field. And it didn’t work for me. Tropic Thunder actually made me laugh throughout, and the fake previews at the beginning were one of my favorite things I saw all year. Downey Jr. was amazing, and I can’t believe he’s up for an Oscar for this. He HAS to come to the Oscars and give interviews as this character, that would be the coolest thing ever. And Tom Cruise…I still hate you, but you were pretty great in this.

The “I’m Glad I Have Netflix to Find Movies Like This” Award: The Visitor

Just trust me on this. I’d never heard of this either, until I saw it on some “Best of 2008” lists. If you have Netflix, please check this movie out. Some people might find it kind of preachy about the restrictions on immigration put in place post September 11th, so if you listen to conservative talk radio all day long like my brother, it’s probably not for you. But I didn’t feel this was trying to preach, it was just showing that most immigrants are actually real people who are trying to live the American dream just like anyone else. Richard Jenkins very subtle performance was note perfect, and I’d be rooting for him to win the Oscar if not for Sean Penn.

The “Donnie Darko” Award for the Movie I Really Enjoyed Even Though it Doesn’t Quite Work: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

I enjoyed Button, but I really, really wanted to love it going in….and I just couldn’t. I love David Fincher’s work – Seven, Fight Club, The Game…amazing. And while Button was the best looking movie of the year (and should win every Oscar for cinematography and special effects), and was emotionally engaging…it never really came together for me. And in a movie about someone living life backwards, there was no reason for it, and no real knowledge gained from that. I just thought it didn’t really explore the idea of what it would be like to be 30 and have the knowledge of a 60 something year old. Good movie, but I’ll be annoyed if it wins “Best Picture”.

The Geek Movie that Even *I* Didn’t Like Award: Cloverfield

I know, I’m the target audience for crap like this, and I was pretty stoked going in. But the more you think about this movie, the less sense it makes. My favorite thing about it is this – supposedly the monster comes from Japan, like Godzilla. But he surfaces in New York City and goes on a rampage. Now, geography isn’t my strong suit, but how the hell did he get from Japan to NYC without being seen? And what, he was just growing to some monstrous size underwater for years, while secretly growing lungs with which to breathe oxygen? And he can survive getting nuked? Stupid. All I know if that if a monster does come to tear up LA, I’m not stopping to film him. I’m just getting the F out of here.

Movie I KNOW I’d Hate Based Solely on the Title and/or Poster: Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day

You couldn’t pay me to see this.

The “Godfather 3” Award for the Movie that NEVER HAPPENED: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

What? There was an Indiana Jones movie released last year? You mean 1989, right? Last Crusade. Because that was the end of the trilogy. They never made a sequel to that, you hear me? IT NEVER HAPPENED. The worst part is that when they release the Indy trilogy on Blu-Ray later this year, I’m going to have to pay more to buy a 4 pack of movies, that includes this one I never want to see. I guess then I will actually have to watch it one time, and then retire it.

Early Pick for the Worst Movie of 2009: Paul Blart: Mall Cop.

If you paid money to see this and you are over 16 years old and/or live outside of Arkansas, you should be ashamed of yourself. I guess you’re probably unemployed now, so I should cut you some slack. But seriously, Paul Blart: Mall Cop???? I am going to write a screenplay about a big fat goofy guy who farts and gets hit in the nuts a lot and call it Frank Henderson: School Janitor. And you idiots who made Mall Cop the #1 movie in America for 2 weeks had better freaking go see it.